Writing paper and envelopes
Things They Carried Essay Topics
Monday, August 24, 2020
Training Evaluation New Techniques and Strategies
Doormen Five Forces Analysis Marketing Essay Presentation The primary motivation behind applying the five powers examination is to distinguish the key factors in the mechanical condition that impact the associations capacities to situate itself so as to justify upper hand. It is a system for industry investigation and business procedure advancement framed by Michael Porter. An industry is a gathering of firms that advertise items which are close substitutes for one another (for example the vehicle business, the inn industry).Some ventures are more gainful than others, the appropriate response lies in understanding the elements of serious structure in an industry. Doormen Five Forces Model is one of the most persuasive logical models for surveying the idea of rivalry in an industry. Watchman clarifies that there are five powers that decide industry engaging quality and since a long time ago run industry gainfulness. These five serious powers are the danger of new contenders passage, the danger of substitutes, the bartering intensity of purchasers, the haggling intensity of providers, and the level of contention between existing contenders. Watchmen five powers outline. http://www.b2binternational.com/china/pictures/stories/areas/porters_five_forces.gif Source: www.valuebasedmanagement.net Prologue to inn industry An inn is a foundation that gives a transient paid living arrangement. Before, lodgings were only a little stay with a bed, pantry, and a table, yet now it has completely changed to something different. These days lodgings are lavish living arrangements that incorporate various kinds of offices. The vast majority of the inns presently incorporate spas, pools, wellness focuses, meetings rooms and worldwide eateries. Indeed, even the rooms are presently greater and incorporate many solace offices. Malaysian Association of Hotels (MAH)à was set up in 1974. It is presently being formally perceived as a National Hotel Association. Presently it sets the guidelines and least adequate levels for being a lawful confirmed inn in Malaysia. It has 2,184 enlisted individuals and 17 additional inns in the following 3 years. Table: Hotels and rooms gracefully 2010/2011 Dealing intensity of providers The term providers contains all hotspots for inputs that are required so as to give merchandise or administrations. The two key providers to the Hotel business are works and land Over all the providers in this market are characterized as land owners, engineers and land organizations, inside plan and goods organizations, modelers, the executives and preparing specialist co-ops, promoting organizations, industry experts and ICT makers. Class Rating 1-10 Comments Number of providers 6 (medium) Impressive no. of neighborhood and Chinese temporary workers Modest number of value preparing suppliers and gifted representatives. Accessibility of substitute 6(medium) Substitutes for property (realtors), creators, and workers are accessible. Exchanging cost classification 2 (low) - substitute for inn are not many.. Providers danger of forward reconciliation 2 (low) Providers are exceptionally far-fetched to advance incorporate into the lodging industry Industrys treat in reverse reconciliation 5 (high) - inns could in reverse incorporate to possess land organization. They could have their own preparation wing. Commitment to quality 5 (high) - Property improvement and land organizations add to the quality so does talented work and quality preparing Commitment to cost 2 (low) - Most providers are a lot littler organizations contrasted with lodging organizations. - Hence lodging organizations have an a lot higher haggling power. providers commitment to cost is low In general, the quantity of providers for the Hotel business is very enormous and every provider is exceptionally little in size contrasted with the main players in the business. These couple of incredible players are basic to the providers. Substitutability of the providers is additionally very doable and economical. Exchanging between realtors isn't goingto influence a specific Hotel organization fundamentally. Anyway as far as quality, preparing habitats for representatives and ICT makers who give IT frameworks thatfor property the board are moderately increasingly hard to supplant. Consequently as far as substitute providers industry engaging quality is respectably high. Not at all like the provider is danger ofâ forward reconciliation, Industry is danger of backwardintegration is quite high since enormous lodging networks like ITC or IHCLà would have no doubts venturing into the genuine estateâ business or creating representative preparing offices in-house. Similarlythe industry is commitment to both expense and quality isrelatively high. Generally speaking haggling intensity of providers is low and industry is engaging quality as far as provider bartering power is high (4). Haggling POWER OF BUYERS The haggling intensity of purchasers decides how much clients can force pressure on edges and volumes. The end-clients of the top of the line lodging industry are:- Relaxation voyager Business voyager Clients who require space for meetings or different occasions Class Rating 1-10 Comments - Number of Buyers 7(high) - Buyers are various and little in size.- Losing one client can't going to have any kind of effect. Their dealing power is low - Availability of substitutes: (medium) - Multiple substitutes for a given lodging or brand is accessible - Informal settlement for loved ones is accessible other option - Corporate visitor houses for the business explorer - Switching cost: 2(low) - Switching costs arenegligible Purchasers are cost sensitiveexcept in the - Buyers danger of in reverse reconciliation: 5(high) Clients are will notconstruct an inn or purchase a position of home for each spot they visit. - Contribution to quality 2(low) Extra offices suchas spas, rec centers and so forth are usedmy inns to improve thequality of clients remain - commitment to cost 5(high) Brand picture is veryimportant in this industry and prompts additional cost, Additional amenities,training of staff, locationrent (like near airport)etc. - Buyers gainfulness 2(low) Low purchasers gainfulness In the mid - fragment, there are various purchasers, of extremely little benefit In the superior fragment, purchasers are exceptionally well-off, and they have more noteworthy dealing power comparedto the mid-portion Industrys danger of forward mix. 4(medium) - low possibilities or forward mix This industry has numerous clients who are generally little in size. Loss of a solitary client has little effect on a lodging organization and this drives down the purchasers bartering power. So also purchasers danger of in reverse mix is practically inconceivable thus the business is under danger of forward coordination. Anyway the business has a few substitutes, for example, outdoors and recreational vehicles for vacationers, corporate guesthouses for business voyagers and other casual methods for convenience with loved ones. Exchanging cost for every one of these choices is low, with the exception of the RV. Aside from the arrangement of convenience, inns likewise give extra offices and administrations, for example, cafés, rec centers, spas, gathering corridors, ball rooms, lounges and so forth. Thusly their commitment to quality just as cost for the purchaser is high. Obstructions of passage Class Rating 1-10 Comments Economies of scale 5(high) High economies of scale-Very critical to operatea chain of lodgings in multiplelocations, particularly for the top notch portion. This decreases thedependence on tourismtrends at some random area Item separation 4(medium) Exceptionally separated Brand names and valuesare significant in pulling in and holding clients - brand character 4(medium) Brand is significant. - exchanging cost 2(low) - low exchanging cost - capital prerequisite 4(medium) - capital escalated. - staff, dã ©cor, foundation e.t.c is over the top expensive. - Access to innovation 3(moderate) - ICT is significant for property the executives. - Access to crude material 4(medium) - Labor, land and different basics are anything but difficult to get. - government insurance 3(moderate) - The travel industry gets government. - leave hindrances 2(low) - High leave boundaries. Particular resources for the business. Brand names are significant in the inn business. Organizations utilize their solid image names to draw in new clients and hold old ones. Plus, economies of scale are additionally an enormous factor in this industry. Productivity of lodging networks is radically higher than singular tasks. Another participant can't contend with built up players as far as quality, cost and even administrations. On the off chance that they can't set up huge economies of scale.Being a capital concentrated industry with a lot of it secured in fixed costs, makes section increasingly troublesome. So also high leave boundaries due to specializedassets make the business less attractive.The friendliness industry is unequivocally impacted by movement and the travel industry patterns. Government insurance for the travel industry is extremely high and this thusly comes off on the lodging business making it along these lines making the business appealing by and large. Serious intensity of contention players This perspective portrays the force of rivalry between existing players (organizations) in an industry. High serious constrain results or prompts pressure on value edges and on productivity for each and every organization in the business. The accompanying table shows the examination of the competition between inns. factors Appraisals (5) Comments. No. of rivalries 4 (high) Modest number of enormous administrators Industry development 3 (medium) Yearly development pace of 15% Fixed expense 1 (low) Exceptionally capital concentrated separations 4 (high) Solid brand name orders an extremely significant expense premium. Exchanging cost 2 (moderate) Minimal effort changing to comparable brands Receptiveness to terms of offer 4 (high) Cost, charges and so on are known Overabundance limit 2 (moderate) Just 70% rooms involved Key stakes 2 (moderate) Albeit huge lodging
Saturday, August 22, 2020
Martin Luther Kings I Have a Dream Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words
Martin Luther Kings I Have a Dream - Essay Example For example, he begins his discourse by saying, ââ¬Å"One multi year later, the life of the Negro is still tragically injured by the cuffs of isolation and the chains of discriminationâ⬠(Incomeexperts, 2012). In his discourse, he likewise expresses various occasions in transit he longs for equity in the United States of America. Lord contends that ââ¬Å"I have a fantasy my four little youngsters will one day live in a country where they won't be decided by the shade of their skin yet by the substance of their characterâ⬠(Incomeexperts, 2012). Martin Luther King goes further to point produce archives, which he uses to stress his contention. Furthermore, he discloses to his crowd on how the Emancipation Proclamation report was an achievement in the wake of uniformity in the United States of America Negros. The then president, Abraham Lincoln, marked this report states, which set free the slaves in numerous states. These were among the primary indications of the dark minor ity getting their privileges. He goes significantly further to make reference to about the United States Constitution to underline his point on how his fantasy his of equity could be figured it out. Through accentuate of a considerable lot of his initial words, ruler sets his crowd in a memorable place what they caught wind of the discourse. This is one of the qualities of a decent discourse introduction; in addition, the voice of Martin Luther King is refined. This is seen through his utilization of illustrative words with these words he gives his crowd the perspective on how they are being dealt with and what he longs for. Moreover, he utilizes other unmistakable styles like allegories to give the crowd a superior comprehension of his discourse, for instance he says, ââ¬Å"America has given the Negro a terrible check, which has returned stamped lacking fundsâ⬠(Incomeexperts, 2012) Ã
Thursday, July 23, 2020
November 2014 Admissions Thoughts - UGA Undergraduate Admissions
November 2014 Admissions Thoughts - UGA Undergraduate Admissions November 2014 Admissions Thoughts We have made it past the Early Action decisions, and we are now at the next stages of the admission cycle. With that in mind, here are a few thoughts about what happens in Admissions and UGA from November to late March. Scholarships-We are working on the review of files for scholarships, but as of today we have only had about four working days since decisions were released, and most of those were spent talking with families. I expect that we will begin releasing some scholarship offers in mid-December, and this will continue until mid-April as we review files for different scholarships. We will offer about 15-20% of admitted students scholarships overall, but it takes time. Honors-The Honors program is working with our office to collect data on the admitted EA applicants, so please be patient with this office as they begin their review for their early offers. They hope to be able to start communicating with students in mid-December, but that is an estimate, not a specific timeline. Deferred EA applicants are beginning to submit part II of the application and get in teacher recommendations, and we expect the majority will finish these steps during the December holidays. Deferred applicants do not need to submit a new application or pay a new application fee, and it will cause problems for applicants who try to do this. In addition, the last section of part II is for any updates, where an applicant can give us new information such as updated activities, fall grades, new honors, etc. I also suggest that all RD and deferred EA applicants review the Timeline page for details on when we release decisions. While Fall grades are not required for RD or deferred EA applicants, I heavily suggest sending them in, either self-reported on part II or on a transcript. Accepted students do not need to send us updated grades unless requested by another office (Honors for instance). There are too many RD applicants and deferred EA applicants for us to recalculate every GPA with new grades, but senior grades are used in our holistic read process, and we do look at them carefully. For RD applicants, it is best to apply first and then send in any school documents, as it is easier and quicker to match these items. Test scores can come in prior to applying without issue, but documents have to be saved in our holding files and then matched every day, and these files get a little overwhelming during deadline times with thousands of non-matched documents. During your senior year, do not catch senioritis or do something that you will regret the next day. The main reason we would ever rescind an admission offer would be a serious drop in grades or a problematic conduct issue, so stay strong and focused. This is also not the time to start to drop challenging courses for spring term. If we admitted you, it was in part based on the strength of your core classes. As such, we want to see you continue to challenge yourself in the courses you are in. We are fine if you need to change from PE to Health, or from one similar class to another, but we dont want to see you suddenly dropping AP Calc, AP Physics, etc. just to have an early release period. Remember, more is not always better. If you have ten teacher recommendations sent to us, or decide you need to send us a five page resume, or decide that the word short answer limits are too limiting and decide to send us two page essays by mail, know that it becomes harder to see the forest through the trees. Brevity and being concise are not bad things. We will accept SAT/ACT scores from exams taken and requested to be sent by the end of January. Please make sure you request your scores be sent to UGA when you sign up for the exam. Do not wait until you have seen your January scores before requesting them to be sent, as that might be too late. Remember, we only use the highest scores, so there is no need to wait before sending them. We are often asked about what teacher to select for a recommendation. We do not need a teacher who is a UGA alum, a department head, a person who has taught for 30+ years, or any other designation. Select a teacher who knows you well and can tell us what you are like as a person. Remember to check your myStatus page to make sure we have everything we need for admissions. The worst calls/emails are the ones where we have to say we could not make a decision due to an incomplete file. As well, re-review the Top 10 Urban Legends for UGA Admissions, as odd myths start to appear after EA decisions are released. Go Dawgs!
Friday, May 22, 2020
Smoking Ban in Public Places - Free Essay Example
Sample details Pages: 5 Words: 1446 Downloads: 2 Date added: 2019/02/05 Category Health Essay Level High school Tags: Smoking Essay Did you like this example? Have you ever been out in public and notice someone smoking? Does it ever make you wonder if that personsââ¬â¢ smoking will have an impact on your health? According to Jacob Grier, freelance writer and bartender, smoking bans show no improvement in heart attacks. Many people may disagree with this statement but a lot of them follow what the media says and not the actual facts. Harvard Heart Letter published an article promoting the dangerous of being exposed to secondhand smoke. Donââ¬â¢t waste time! Our writers will create an original "Smoking Ban in Public Places" essay for you Create order Many are led to believe that log exposure to secondhand smoke can put you at risk for many diseases such as heart disease and cancer. This topic is very controversial because the facts are not always portrayed. As Grier looked at in his research he noted that smokers are more in danger than those exposed to secondhand smoke. Since the mass media promotes the dangers of smoking and how badly secondhand smoke affects peopleââ¬â¢s health, who is right? So, the biggest question is what is the best way to balance peopleââ¬â¢s right to health against an individualââ¬â¢s right to smoke? There should be a commom ground that would make both smokersââ¬â¢ and non-smokerââ¬â¢s happy. ââ¬Å"Banishing Secondhand Smokeâ⬠written by President and Fellows of Harvard College, the authors stated the dangers of being around secondhand smokers. The article argues that inhaling secondhand smoke is just as dangerous as the smokersââ¬â¢ smoking. According to the article, secondhand smoke can lead to diseases such as heart disease, lung cancer and asthma. The article also state that some technology used to filter out smoke or clean air is found to be inconclusive. The authors suggest if you live with a smoker to ask them to quit, smoke in a designated room, or outside. ââ¬Å"We Used Terrible Science to Justify Smoking Bansâ⬠published in Slate by Jacob Grier argues that there is no real correlation that smoking causes heart attacks. Grier argues that some sample sizes in the studies were too small and proved nothing. The article also states that larger sample sizes still found no correlation between the two. The article notes that secondhand smoke is not as dangerous as the media has portrayed it to be. Grier also states that since the facts state that secondhand smoke is not as dangerous, that some laws should be eliminated, and smokers should have some rights back. The author emphasizes the psychological impacts that smoking bans have on smokers. Both of these authors further explain their viewpoints on the controversial topic of smoking, secondhand smoke, and smoking bans. This topic may seem like it has an easy answer, but many people cannot agree on the right answer. Grierââ¬â¢s article argues how smoking bans have no real correlation with the decrease of heart attacks. His article is showcased in the Slate magazine, which is a political and current events type of publication. The purpose of this article is to inform non-smokers that their exposure to secondhand smoke is not as dangerous as they have been told and to state the contrary evidence about smoking in the media. Grier is a freelance writer and a bartender. Grier discusses many studies that show no correlation of decrease in heart attacks from smoking bans. For example, Grier looks at the study in Helena, Montana, where six months after the smoking ban the rate of heart attacks decreased by 60 percent. Grier argues that the sample size was way too small to make a connection between the two. Grier notices a trend in the small sample size of these different studies. He argues that the decrease in heart attacks is coincidental. Grierââ¬â¢s ability to point out the flaws in the studies heââ¬â¢s discussed shows his reasoning on the matter. Harvard Heart Letter argues how dangerous exposure to secondhand smoke is and how they can help prevent it. This article is in contrast to Grierââ¬â¢s points about secondhand smoke. This article emphasizes the bad exposure to secondhand smoke. This article doesnââ¬â¢t have any scientific evidence to back up their claim. Both Grier and Harvard Heart Letter agree that secondhand smoke can be dangerous. Grier states that secondhand smoke can potentially be dangerous, but the dangers are not as bad as portrayed in the media. Both articles agree that creating designated smoking areas for smoker would be a middle ground for party sides. Non-smokers would know to avoid these particular areas and would not be exposed to secondhand smoke. Smokers would have an area where they could freely smoke and not have to worry about backlash from smokers. Even though these authors have some similarities, there differences are much greater. Grier argues that long exposure to secondhand smoke is not as dangerous as it is portrayed to be. He states that people who are chronically exposed to secondhand smoke have rates of getting cancer is just 1.12-1.43 times that of actual smokersââ¬â¢ (Grier 4). This evidence is shocking to many, but many still refuse to acknowledge the truth. Harvard Heart Letter argues that the dangers of being exposed to secondhand smoke increase your risk of heart attacks. Grier argues that the science has shown no correlation of decrease in heart attacks since smoking bans. While some studies do state this, Grier acknowledges that the sample sizes are too small and in some cases is just a coincidence. He also argues that those decreases may not even be related to secondhand smoke. On the other hand, Harvard Heart Letter believes that smoking bans will help make the environment healthy for everyone. Grier states that there is no clear evidence that states secondhand smoke causes many diseases. Harvard Heart Letter stresses the fact that chronic exposure to secondhand smoke causes many diseases such as heart disease and cancer. Grier argues that the evidence proves no correlation between decrease in certain illnesses following smoking bans. This leads him to believe that some bans on smoking should be lifted following the contrary evidence that was discovered. Harvard Heart Letter believes that smoking bans are important for the health of society. Another major point that Grier stresses is the fact that smoking bans have a psychological impact on smokers. He states that smokers are never asked about their experiences or how they feel about the bans. Grier states that smokersââ¬â¢ habits are viewed as bad as illegal drugs. Many smokers feel they are being discriminated against. The article I agree with most is Grierââ¬â¢s article. I believe that Grier is very knowledgeable and has lots of evidence to support his claims. I agree with the fact the secondhand smoke is not as harmful as it is portrayed to be. I disagree with the Harvard Heart Letter on its exaggeration of the exposure to secondhand smoke. Grierââ¬â¢s article appeals the most to me because he is introducing new evidence that I have never heard before. He looks beyond the research and states what the truth really is. I used to believe that secondhand smoke was just as dangerous as smoking, but after reading Grierââ¬â¢s article I realize that it is not as bad as it is portrayed to be. I believe the best way to balance peopleââ¬â¢s right to health against and individuals right to smoke is to provide a designated area where smokers can smoke freely. I wonder if a designated smoking area would help solve some of the controversy between the two sides? I believe that the main issues with this topic is if non- smokers have the right to take away the rights of smokers and if smokers have the right to smoke freely anywhere they chose. I believe a middle ground should be put in place that will create a designated smoking area. Even though this seems like a simple solution I agree that this solution may not please everyone and may still remain a controversial issue. This would not expose nonsmokers to secondhand smoke and smokers would have a place they could smoke freely. This would help smokers feel a little more included in society. In conclusion, Grier and Harvard Heart Letter discuss completely different points about smoking, secondhand smoke and smoking bans. Grier focuses on the truth that secondhand smoke is not as bad as it seems, and studies show no correlation of decrease in heart attacks since smoking bans. Therefore, he believes some laws should be eliminated and smokers should have some rights back. Harvard Heart Letter argues that secondhand smoke is terrifically dangerous and more smoking bans should be put into effect. Both authors deliver their points in different very different ways. Even after all the research the question still remains is secondhand smoke dangerous?
Thursday, May 7, 2020
Developing A Unified Un Country Team - 1619 Words
Executive Summary This report focuses upon the operations of UNDAF and the assistance that it is providing to the countries in order to help them achieve national development goals. UNDAF presents a great opportunity for the nations to come together and build a coherent association with the UN system to address various issues pertaining to the field of development assistance. With this framework, different UN organizations can associate with the government of the nations to nurture the effectiveness. ââ¬Å"Deliver as oneâ⬠focuses on the outcomes of the contribution through reforms in order to set up a unified UN country team with one programme, one leader, one budget, one office framework. Though there are constraints related to the resourceâ⬠¦show more contentâ⬠¦In general, a UNDAF programme runs for around three years and has some underlying agenda along with periodic reviews (Jagel, 2012). United Nationââ¬â¢s ââ¬Å"Delivering as oneâ⬠vision in the area of development assistance has been a major strategic programme framework which intends to work upon achieving national development priorities which is evident from observance of the progress and the outcomes of the contribution done so far as well as going on track with the future targets under various objectives and criteria with respect to various countries. According to United Nations Development Group (2010), further to authorizing its conduct and contribution, the General Assembly also encouraged the UN development system to boost its collaboration with the various countries at different levels in order to bolster the national capabilities as well as to support the national development priorities with the help of assessment of the common countries and the UNDAF. In order to bring about development, the UN implemented the ââ¬Å"deliver as oneâ⬠at the country level in order to achieve the Millennium Development goals and the other development goals. Its focus in on the outcomes of the contribution through reforms in order to set up a unified UN country team with one programme, one leader , one budget, one office framework. In order to deliver as one, there must be a coherent approach adopted by the
Wednesday, May 6, 2020
Twilight 24. AN IMPASSE Free Essays
24. AN IMPASSE My eyes opened to a bright, white light. I was in an unfamiliar room, a white room. We will write a custom essay sample on Twilight 24. AN IMPASSE or any similar topic only for you Order Now The wall beside me was covered in long vertical blinds; over my head, the glaring lights blinded me. I was propped up on a hard, uneven bed ââ¬â a bed with rails. The pillows were flat and lumpy. There was an annoying beeping sound somewhere close by. I hoped that meant I was still alive. Death shouldnââ¬â¢t be this uncomfortable. My hands were all twisted up with clear tubes, and something was taped across my face, under my nose. I lifted my hand to rip it off. ââ¬Å"No, you donââ¬â¢t.â⬠And cool fingers caught my hand. ââ¬Å"Edward?â⬠I turned my head slightly, and his exquisite face was just inches from mine, his chin resting on the edge of my pillow. I realized again that I was alive, this time with gratitude and elation. ââ¬Å"Oh, Edward, Iââ¬â¢m so sorry!â⬠ââ¬Å"Shhhh,â⬠he shushed me. ââ¬Å"Everythingââ¬â¢s all right now.â⬠ââ¬Å"What happened?â⬠I couldnââ¬â¢t remember clearly, and my mind rebelled against me as I tried to recall. ââ¬Å"I was almost too late. I could have been too late,â⬠he whispered, his voice tormented. ââ¬Å"I was so stupid, Edward. I thought he had my mom.â⬠ââ¬Å"He tricked us all.â⬠ââ¬Å"I need to call Charlie and my mom,â⬠I realized through the haze. ââ¬Å"Alice called them. Ren?à ¦e is here ââ¬â well, here in the hospital. Sheââ¬â¢s getting something to eat right now.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sheââ¬â¢s here?â⬠I tried to sit up, but the spinning in my head accelerated, and his hand pushed me gently down onto the pillows. ââ¬Å"Sheââ¬â¢ll be back soon,â⬠he promised. ââ¬Å"And you need to stay still.â⬠ââ¬Å"But what did you tell her?â⬠I panicked. I had no interest in being soothed. My mom was here and I was recovering from a vampire attack. ââ¬Å"Why did you tell her Iââ¬â¢m here?â⬠ââ¬Å"You fell down two flights of stairs and through a window.â⬠He paused. ââ¬Å"You have to admit, it could happen.â⬠I sighed, and it hurt. I stared down at my body under the sheet, the huge lump that was my leg. ââ¬Å"How bad am I?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin, and youââ¬â¢ve lost a lot of blood. They gave you a few transfusions. I didnââ¬â¢t like it ââ¬â it made you smell all wrong for a while.â⬠ââ¬Å"That must have been a nice change for you.â⬠ââ¬Å"No, I like how you smell.â⬠ââ¬Å"How did you do it?â⬠I asked quietly. He knew what I meant at once. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not sure.â⬠He looked away from my wondering eyes, lifting my gauze-wrapped hand from the bed and holding it gently in his, careful not to disrupt the wire connecting me to one of the monitors. I waited patiently for the rest. He sighed without returning my gaze. ââ¬Å"It was impossibleâ⬠¦ to stop,â⬠he whispered. ââ¬Å"Impossible. But I did.â⬠He looked up finally, with half a smile. ââ¬Å"I must love you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t I taste as good as I smell?â⬠I smiled in response. That hurt my face. ââ¬Å"Even better ââ¬â better than Iââ¬â¢d imagined.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m sorry,â⬠I apologized. He raised his eyes to the ceiling. ââ¬Å"Of all the things to apologize for.â⬠ââ¬Å"What should I apologize for?â⬠ââ¬Å"For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m sorry,â⬠I apologized again. ââ¬Å"I know why you did it.â⬠His voice was comforting. ââ¬Å"It was still irrational, of course. You should have waited for me, you should have told me.â⬠ââ¬Å"You wouldnââ¬â¢t have let me go.â⬠ââ¬Å"No,â⬠he agreed in a grim tone, ââ¬Å"I wouldnââ¬â¢t.â⬠Some very unpleasant memories were beginning to come back to me. I shuddered, and then winced. He was instantly anxious. ââ¬Å"Bella, whatââ¬â¢s wrong?â⬠ââ¬Å"What happened to James?â⬠ââ¬Å"After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him.â⬠There was a fierce note of regret in his voice. This confused me. ââ¬Å"I didnââ¬â¢t see Emmett and Jasper there.â⬠ââ¬Å"They had to leave the roomâ⬠¦ there was a lot of blood.â⬠ââ¬Å"But you stayed.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes, I stayed.â⬠ââ¬Å"And Alice, and Carlisleâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I said in wonder. ââ¬Å"They love you, too, you know.â⬠A flash of painful images from the last time Iââ¬â¢d seen Alice reminded me of something. ââ¬Å"Did Alice see the tape?â⬠I asked anxiously. ââ¬Å"Yes.â⬠A new sound darkened his voice, a tone of sheer hatred. ââ¬Å"She was always in the dark, thatââ¬â¢s why she didnââ¬â¢t remember.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know. She understands now.â⬠His voice was even, but his face was black with fury. I tried to reach his face with my free hand, but something stopped me. I glanced down to see the IV pulling at my hand. ââ¬Å"Ugh.â⬠I winced. ââ¬Å"What is it?â⬠he asked anxiously ââ¬â distracted, but not enough. The bleakness did not entirely leave his eyes. ââ¬Å"Needles,â⬠I explained, looking away from the one in my hand. I concentrated on a warped ceiling tile and tried to breathe deeply despite the ache in my ribs. ââ¬Å"Afraid of a needle,â⬠he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. ââ¬Å"Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other handâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I rolled my eyes. I was pleased to discover that this reaction, at least, was pain-free. I decided to change the subject. ââ¬Å"Why are you here?â⬠I asked. He stared at me, first confusion and then hurt touching his eyes. His brows pulled together as he frowned. ââ¬Å"Do you want me to leave?â⬠ââ¬Å"No!â⬠I protested, horrified by the thought. ââ¬Å"No, I meant, why does my mother think youââ¬â¢re here? I need to have my story straight before she gets back.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh,â⬠he said, and his forehead smoothed back into marble. ââ¬Å"I came to Phoenix to talk some sense into you, to convince you to come back to Forks.â⬠His wide eyes were so earnest and sincere, I almost believed him myself. ââ¬Å"You agreed to see me, and you drove out to the hotel where I was staying with Carlisle and Alice ââ¬â of course I was here with parental supervision,â⬠he inserted virtuously, ââ¬Å"but you tripped on the stairs on the way to my room andâ⬠¦ well, you know the rest. You donââ¬â¢t need to remember any details, though; you have a good excuse to be a little muddled about the finer points.â⬠I thought about it for a moment. ââ¬Å"There are a few flaws with that story. Like no broken windows.â⬠ââ¬Å"Not really,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"Alice had a little bit too much fun fabricating evidence. Itââ¬â¢s all been taken care of very convincingly ââ¬â you could probably sue the hotel if you wanted to. You have nothing to worry about,â⬠he promised, stroking my cheek with the lightest of touches. ââ¬Å"Your only job now is to heal.â⬠I wasnââ¬â¢t so lost to the soreness or the fog of medication that I didnââ¬â¢t respond to his touch. The beeping of the monitor jumped around erratically ââ¬â now he wasnââ¬â¢t the only one who could hear my heart misbehave. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s going to be embarrassing,â⬠I muttered to myself. He chuckled, and a speculative look came into his eye. ââ¬Å"Hmm, I wonderâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ He leaned in slowly; the beeping noise accelerated wildly before his lips even touched me. But when they did, though with the most gentle of pressure, the beeping stopped altogether. He pulled back abruptly, his anxious expression turning to relief as the monitor reported the restarting of my heart. ââ¬Å"It seems that Iââ¬â¢m going to have to be even more careful with you than usual.â⬠He frowned. ââ¬Å"I was not finished kissing you,â⬠I complained. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t make me come over there.â⬠He grinned, and bent to press his lips lightly to mine. The monitor went wild. But then his lips were taut. He pulled away. ââ¬Å"I think I hear your mother,â⬠he said, grinning again. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t leave me,â⬠I cried, an irrational surge of panic flooding through me. I couldnââ¬â¢t let him go ââ¬â he might disappear from me again. He read the terror in my eyes for a short second. ââ¬Å"I wonââ¬â¢t,â⬠he promised solemnly, and then he smiled. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll take a nap.â⬠He moved from the hard plastic chair by my side to the turquoise faux-leather recliner at the foot of my bed, leaning it all the way back, and closing his eyes. He was perfectly still. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t forget to breathe,â⬠I whispered sarcastically. He took a deep breath, his eyes still closed. I could hear my mother now. She was talking to someone, maybe a nurse, and she sounded tired and upset. I wanted to jump out of the bed and run to her, to calm her, promise that everything was fine. But I wasnââ¬â¢t in any sort of shape for jumping, so I waited impatiently. The door opened a crack, and she peeked through. ââ¬Å"Mom!â⬠I whispered, my voice full of love and relief. She took in Edwardââ¬â¢s still form on the recliner, and tiptoed to my bedside. ââ¬Å"He never leaves, does he?â⬠she mumbled to herself. ââ¬Å"Mom, Iââ¬â¢m so glad to see you!â⬠She bent down to hug me gently, and I felt warm tears falling on my cheeks. ââ¬Å"Bella, I was so upset!â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m sorry, Mom. But everythingââ¬â¢s fine now, itââ¬â¢s okay,â⬠I comforted her. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m just glad to finally see your eyes open.â⬠She sat on the edge of my bed. I suddenly realized I didnââ¬â¢t have any idea when it was. ââ¬Å"How long have they been closed?â⬠ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s Friday, hon, youââ¬â¢ve been out for a while.â⬠ââ¬Å"Friday?â⬠I was shocked. I tried to remember what day it had been whenâ⬠¦ but I didnââ¬â¢t want to think about that. ââ¬Å"They had to keep you sedated for a while, honey ââ¬â youââ¬â¢ve got a lot of injuries.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know.â⬠I could feel them. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re lucky Dr. Cullen was there. Heââ¬â¢s such a nice manâ⬠¦ very young, though. And he looks more like a model than a doctorâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"You met Carlisle?â⬠ââ¬Å"And Edwardââ¬â¢s sister Alice. Sheââ¬â¢s a lovely girl.â⬠ââ¬Å"She is,â⬠I agreed wholeheartedly. She glanced over her shoulder at Edward, lying with his eyes closed in the chair. ââ¬Å"You didnââ¬â¢t tell me you had such good friends in Forks.â⬠I cringed, and then moaned. ââ¬Å"What hurts?â⬠she demanded anxiously, turning back to me. Edwardââ¬â¢s eyes flashed to my face. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s fine,â⬠I assured them. ââ¬Å"I just have to remember not to move.â⬠He lapsed back into his phony slumber. I took advantage of my motherââ¬â¢s momentary distraction to keep the subject from returning to my less-than-candid behavior. ââ¬Å"Whereââ¬â¢s Phil?â⬠I asked quickly. ââ¬Å"Florida ââ¬â oh, Bella! Youââ¬â¢ll never guess! Just when we were about to leave, the best news!â⬠ââ¬Å"Phil got signed?â⬠I guessed. ââ¬Å"Yes! How did you guess! The Suns, can you believe it?â⬠ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s great, Mom,â⬠I said as enthusiastically as I could manage, though I had little idea what that meant. ââ¬Å"And youââ¬â¢ll like Jacksonville so much,â⬠she gushed while I stared at her vacantly. ââ¬Å"I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the cold, but now Jacksonville! Itââ¬â¢s always sunny, and the humidity really isnââ¬â¢t that bad. We found the cutest house, yellow, with white trim, and a porch just like in an old movie, and this huge oak tree, and itââ¬â¢s just a few minutes from the ocean, and youââ¬â¢ll have your own bathroom -ââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"Wait, Mom!â⬠I interrupted. Edward still had his eyes closed, but he looked too tense to pass as asleep. ââ¬Å"What are you talking about? Iââ¬â¢m not going to Florida. I live in Forks.â⬠ââ¬Å"But you donââ¬â¢t have to anymore, silly,â⬠she laughed. ââ¬Å"Phil will be able to be around so much more nowâ⬠¦ weââ¬â¢ve talked about it a lot, and what Iââ¬â¢m going to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half the time with him.â⬠ââ¬Å"Mom.â⬠I hesitated, wondering how best to be diplomatic about this. ââ¬Å"I want to live in Forks. Iââ¬â¢m already settled in at school, and I have a couple of girlfriendsâ⬠ââ¬â she glanced toward Edward again when I reminded her of friends, so I tried another direction ââ¬â ââ¬Å"and Charlie needs me. Heââ¬â¢s just all alone up there, and he canââ¬â¢t cook at all.â⬠ââ¬Å"You want to stay in Forks?â⬠she asked, bewildered. The idea was inconceivable to her. And then her eyes flickered back toward Edward. ââ¬Å"Why?â⬠ââ¬Å"I told you ââ¬â school, Charlie ââ¬â ouch!â⬠Iââ¬â¢d shrugged. Not a good idea. Her hands fluttered helplessly over me, trying to find a safe place to pat. She made do with my forehead; it was unbandaged. ââ¬Å"Bella, honey, you hate Forks,â⬠she reminded me. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s not so bad.â⬠She frowned and looked back and forth between Edward and me, this time very deliberately. ââ¬Å"Is it this boy?â⬠she whispered. I opened my mouth to lie, but her eyes were scrutinizing my face, and I knew she would see through that. ââ¬Å"Heââ¬â¢s part of it,â⬠I admitted. No need to confess how big a part. ââ¬Å"So, have you had a chance to talk with Edward?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"Yes.â⬠She hesitated, looking at his perfectly still form. ââ¬Å"And I want to talk to you about that.â⬠Uh-oh. ââ¬Å"What about?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"I think that boy is in love with you,â⬠she accused, keeping her voice low. ââ¬Å"I think so, too,â⬠I confided. ââ¬Å"And how do you feel about him?â⬠She only poorly concealed the raging curiosity in her voice. I sighed, looking away. As much as I loved my mom, this was not a conversation I wanted to have with her. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m pretty crazy about him.â⬠There ââ¬â that sounded like something a teenager with her first boyfriend might say. ââ¬Å"Well, he seems very nice, and, my goodness, heââ¬â¢s incredibly good-looking, but youââ¬â¢re so young, Bellaâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ Her voice was unsure; as far as I could remember, this was the first time since I was eight that sheââ¬â¢d come close to trying to sound like a parental authority. I recognized the reasonable-but-firm tone of voice from talks Iââ¬â¢d had with her about men. ââ¬Å"I know that, Mom. Donââ¬â¢t worry about it. Itââ¬â¢s just a crush,â⬠I soothed her. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s right,â⬠she agreed, easily pleased. Then she sighed and glanced guiltily over her shoulder at the big, round clock on the wall. ââ¬Å"Do you need to go?â⬠She bit her lip. ââ¬Å"Philââ¬â¢s supposed to call in a little whileâ⬠¦ I didnââ¬â¢t know you were going to wake upâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"No problem, Mom.â⬠I tried to tone down the relief so she wouldnââ¬â¢t get her feelings hurt. ââ¬Å"I wonââ¬â¢t be alone.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll be back soon. Iââ¬â¢ve been sleeping here, you know,â⬠she announced, proud of herself. ââ¬Å"Oh, Mom, you donââ¬â¢t have to do that! You can sleep at home ââ¬â Iââ¬â¢ll never notice.â⬠The swirl of painkillers in my brain was making it hard to concentrate even now, though, apparently, Iââ¬â¢d been sleeping for days. ââ¬Å"I was too nervous,â⬠she admitted sheepishly. ââ¬Å"Thereââ¬â¢s been some crime in the neighborhood, and I donââ¬â¢t like being there alone.â⬠ââ¬Å"Crime?â⬠I asked in alarm. ââ¬Å"Someone broke into that dance studio around the corner from the house and burned it to the ground ââ¬â thereââ¬â¢s nothing left at all! And they left a stolen car right out front. Do you remember when you used to dance there, honey?â⬠ââ¬Å"I remember.â⬠I shivered, and winced. ââ¬Å"I can stay, baby, if you need me.â⬠ââ¬Å"No, Mom, Iââ¬â¢ll be fine. Edward will be with me.â⬠She looked like that might be why she wanted to stay. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll be back tonight.â⬠It sounded as much like a warning as it sounded like a promise, and she glanced at Edward again as she said it. ââ¬Å"I love you, Mom.â⬠ââ¬Å"I love you, too, Bella. Try to be more careful when you walk, honey, I donââ¬â¢t want to lose you.â⬠Edwardââ¬â¢s eyes stayed closed, but a wide grin flashed across his face. A nurse came bustling in then to check all my tubes and wires. My mother kissed my forehead, patted my gauze-wrapped hand, and left. The nurse was checking the paper readout on my heart monitor. ââ¬Å"Are you feeling anxious, honey? Your heart rate got a little high there.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m fine,â⬠I assured her. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll tell your RN that youââ¬â¢re awake. Sheââ¬â¢ll be in to see you in a minute.â⬠As soon as she closed the door, Edward was at my side. ââ¬Å"You stole a car?â⬠I raised my eyebrows. He smiled, unrepentant. ââ¬Å"It was a good car, very fast.â⬠ââ¬Å"How was your nap?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"Interesting.â⬠His eyes narrowed. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠He looked down while he answered. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m surprised. I thought Floridaâ⬠¦ and your motherâ⬠¦ well, I thought thatââ¬â¢s what you would want.â⬠I stared at him uncomprehendingly. ââ¬Å"But youââ¬â¢d be stuck inside all day in Florida. Youââ¬â¢d only be able to come out at night, just like a real vampire.â⬠He almost smiled, but not quite. And then his face was grave. ââ¬Å"I would stay in Forks, Bella. Or somewhere like it,â⬠he explained. ââ¬Å"Someplace where I couldnââ¬â¢t hurt you anymore.â⬠It didnââ¬â¢t sink in at first. I continued to stare at him blankly as the words one by one clicked into place in my head like a ghastly puzzle. I was barely conscious of the sound of my heart accelerating, though, as my breathing became hyperventilation, I was aware of the sharp aching in my protesting ribs. He didnââ¬â¢t say anything; he watched my face warily as the pain that had nothing to do with broken bones, pain that was infinitely worse, threatened to crush me. And then another nurse walked purposefully into the room. Edward sat still as stone as she took in my expression with a practiced eye before turning to the monitors. ââ¬Å"Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?â⬠she asked kindly, tapping the IV feed. ââ¬Å"No, no,â⬠I mumbled, trying to keep the agony out of my voice. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t need anything.â⬠I couldnââ¬â¢t afford to close my eyes now. ââ¬Å"No need to be brave, honey. Itââ¬â¢s better if you donââ¬â¢t get too stressed out; you need to rest.â⬠She waited, but I just shook my head. ââ¬Å"Okay,â⬠she sighed. ââ¬Å"Hit the call button when youââ¬â¢re ready.â⬠She gave Edward a stern look, and threw one more anxious glance at the machinery, before leaving. His cool hands were on my face; I stared at him with wild eyes. ââ¬Å"Shhh, Bella, calm down.â⬠ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t leave me,â⬠I begged in a broken voice. ââ¬Å"I wonââ¬â¢t,â⬠he promised. ââ¬Å"Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate you.â⬠But my heart couldnââ¬â¢t slow. ââ¬Å"Bella.â⬠He stroked my face anxiously. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not going anywhere. Iââ¬â¢ll be right here as long as you need me.â⬠ââ¬Å"Do you swear you wonââ¬â¢t leave me?â⬠I whispered. I tried to control the gasping, at least. My ribs were throbbing. He put his hands on either side of my face and brought his face close to mine. His eyes were wide and serious. ââ¬Å"I swear.â⬠The smell of his breath was soothing. It seemed to ease the ache of my breathing. He continued to hold my gaze while my body slowly relaxed and the beeping returned to a normal pace. His eyes were dark, closer to black than gold today. ââ¬Å"Better?â⬠he asked. ââ¬Å"Yes,â⬠I said cautiously. He shook his head and muttered something unintelligible. I thought I picked out the word ââ¬Å"overreaction.â⬠ââ¬Å"Why did you say that?â⬠I whispered, trying to keep my voice from shaking. ââ¬Å"Are you tired of having to save me all the time? Do you want me to go away?â⬠ââ¬Å"No, I donââ¬â¢t want to be without you, Bella, of course not. Be rational. And I have no problem with saving you, either ââ¬â if it werenââ¬â¢t for the fact that I was the one putting you in dangerâ⬠¦ that Iââ¬â¢m the reason that youââ¬â¢re here.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes, you are the reason.â⬠I frowned. ââ¬Å"The reason Iââ¬â¢m here ââ¬â alive.â⬠ââ¬Å"Barely.â⬠His voice was just a whisper. ââ¬Å"Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move.â⬠ââ¬Å"I wasnââ¬â¢t referring to my most recent near-death experience,â⬠I said, growing irritated. ââ¬Å"I was thinking of the others ââ¬â you can take your pick. If it werenââ¬â¢t for you, I would be rotting away in the Forks cemetery.â⬠He winced at my words, but the haunted look didnââ¬â¢t leave his eyes. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s not the worst part, though,â⬠he continued to whisper. He acted as if I hadnââ¬â¢t spoken. ââ¬Å"Not seeing you there on the floorâ⬠¦ crumpled and broken.â⬠His voice was choked. ââ¬Å"Not thinking I was too late. Not even hearing you scream in pain ââ¬â all those unbearable memories that Iââ¬â¢ll carry with me for the rest of eternity. No, the very worst was feelingâ⬠¦ knowing that I couldnââ¬â¢t stop. Believing that I was going to kill you myself.â⬠ââ¬Å"But you didnââ¬â¢t.â⬠ââ¬Å"I could have. So easily.â⬠I knew I needed to stay calmâ⬠¦ but he was trying to talk himself into leaving me, and the panic fluttered in my lungs, trying to get out. ââ¬Å"Promise me,â⬠I whispered. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠ââ¬Å"You know what.â⬠I was starting to get angry now. He was so stubbornly determined to dwell on the negative. He heard the change in my tone. His eyes tightened. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t seem to be strong enough to stay away from you, so I suppose that youââ¬â¢ll get your wayâ⬠¦ whether it kills you or not,â⬠he added roughly. ââ¬Å"Good.â⬠He hadnââ¬â¢t promised, though ââ¬â a fact that I had not missed. The panic was only barely contained; I had no strength left to control the anger. ââ¬Å"You told me how you stoppedâ⬠¦ now I want to know why,â⬠I demanded. ââ¬Å"Why?â⬠he repeated warily. ââ¬Å"Why you did it. Why didnââ¬â¢t you just let the venom spread? By now I would be just like you.â⬠Edwardââ¬â¢s eyes seemed to turn flat black, and I remembered that this was something heââ¬â¢d never intended me to know. Alice must have been preoccupied by the things sheââ¬â¢d learned about herselfâ⬠¦ or sheââ¬â¢d been very careful with her thoughts around him ââ¬â clearly, heââ¬â¢d had no idea that sheââ¬â¢d filled me in on the mechanics of vampire conversions. He was surprised, and infuriated. His nostrils flared, his mouth looked as if it was chiseled from stone. He wasnââ¬â¢t going to answer, that much was clear. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"But it just seems logicalâ⬠¦ a man and woman have to be somewhat equalâ⬠¦ as in, one of them canââ¬â¢t always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other equally.â⬠He folded his arms on the side of my bed and rested his chin on his arms. His expression was smooth, the anger reined in. Evidently heââ¬â¢d decided he wasnââ¬â¢t angry with me. I hoped Iââ¬â¢d get a chance to warn Alice before he caught up with her. ââ¬Å"You have saved me,â⬠he said quietly. ââ¬Å"I canââ¬â¢t always be Lois Lane,â⬠I insisted. ââ¬Å"I want to be Superman, too.â⬠ââ¬Å"You donââ¬â¢t know what youââ¬â¢re asking.â⬠His voice was soft; he stared intently at the edge of the pillowcase. ââ¬Å"I think I do.â⬠ââ¬Å"Bella, you donââ¬â¢t know. Iââ¬â¢ve had almost ninety years to think about this, and Iââ¬â¢m still not sure.â⬠ââ¬Å"Do you wish that Carlisle hadnââ¬â¢t saved you?â⬠ââ¬Å"No, I donââ¬â¢t wish that.â⬠He paused before continuing. ââ¬Å"But my life was over. I wasnââ¬â¢t giving anything up.â⬠ââ¬Å"You are my life. Youââ¬â¢re the only thing it would hurt me to lose.â⬠I was getting better at this. It was easy to admit how much I needed him. He was very calm, though. Decided. ââ¬Å"I canââ¬â¢t do it, Bella. I wonââ¬â¢t do that to you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Why not?â⬠My throat rasped and the words werenââ¬â¢t as loud as Iââ¬â¢d meant them to be. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t tell me itââ¬â¢s too hard! After today, or I guess it was a few days agoâ⬠¦ anyway, after that, it should be nothing.â⬠He glared at me. ââ¬Å"And the pain?â⬠he asked. I blanched. I couldnââ¬â¢t help it. But I tried to keep my expression from showing how clearly I remembered the feelingâ⬠¦ the fire in my veins. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s my problem,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I can handle it.â⬠ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity.â⬠ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s not an issue. Three days. Big deal.â⬠Edward grimaced again as my words reminded him that I was more informed than he had ever intended me to be. I watched him repress the anger, watched as his eyes grew speculative. ââ¬Å"Charlie?â⬠he asked curtly. ââ¬Å"Ren?à ¦e?â⬠Minutes passed in silence as I struggled to answer his question. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I closed it again. He waited, and his expression became triumphant because he knew I had no true answer. ââ¬Å"Look, thatââ¬â¢s not an issue either,â⬠I finally muttered; my voice was as unconvincing as it always was when I lied. ââ¬Å"Ren?à ¦e has always made the choices that work for her ââ¬â sheââ¬â¢d want me to do the same. And Charlieââ¬â¢s resilient, heââ¬â¢s used to being on his own. I canââ¬â¢t take care of them forever. I have my own life to live.â⬠ââ¬Å"Exactly,â⬠he snapped. ââ¬Å"And I wonââ¬â¢t end it for you.â⬠ââ¬Å"If youââ¬â¢re waiting for me to be on my deathbed, Iââ¬â¢ve got news for you! I was just there!â⬠ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re going to recover,â⬠he reminded me. I took a deep breath to calm myself, ignoring the spasm of pain it triggered. I stared at him, and he stared back. There was no compromise in his face. ââ¬Å"No,â⬠I said slowly. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not.â⬠His forehead creased. ââ¬Å"Of course you are. You may have a scar or twoâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re wrong,â⬠I insisted. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m going to die.â⬠ââ¬Å"Really, Bella.â⬠He was anxious now. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢ll be out of here in a few days. Two week at most.â⬠I glared at him. ââ¬Å"I may not die nowâ⬠¦ but Iââ¬â¢m going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And Iââ¬â¢m going to get old.â⬠He frowned as what I was saying sunk in, pressing his long fingers to his temples and closing his eyes. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s how itââ¬â¢s supposed to happen. How it should happen. How it would have happened if I didnââ¬â¢t exist ââ¬â and I shouldnââ¬â¢t exist.â⬠I snorted. He opened his eyes in surprise. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s stupid. Thatââ¬â¢s like going to someone whoââ¬â¢s just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying, ââ¬ËLook, letââ¬â¢s just go back to how things should be. Itââ¬â¢s better that way.ââ¬â¢ And Iââ¬â¢m not buying it.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m hardly a lottery prize,â⬠he growled. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s right. Youââ¬â¢re much better.â⬠He rolled his eyes and set his lips. ââ¬Å"Bella, weââ¬â¢re not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and thatââ¬â¢s the end of it.â⬠ââ¬Å"If you think thatââ¬â¢s the end, then you donââ¬â¢t know me very well,â⬠I warned him. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re not the only vampire I know.â⬠His eyes went black again. ââ¬Å"Alice wouldnââ¬â¢t dare.â⬠And for a moment he looked so frightening that I couldnââ¬â¢t help but believe it ââ¬â I couldnââ¬â¢t imagine someone brave enough to cross him. ââ¬Å"Alice already saw it, didnââ¬â¢t she?â⬠I guessed. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s why the things she says upset you. She knows Iââ¬â¢m going to be like youâ⬠¦ someday.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sheââ¬â¢s wrong. She also saw you dead, but that didnââ¬â¢t happen, either.â⬠ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢ll never catch me betting against Alice.â⬠We stared at each other for a very long time. It was quiet except for the whirring of the machines, the beeping, the dripping, the ticking of the big clock on the wall. Finally, his expression softened. ââ¬Å"So where does that leave us?â⬠I wondered. He chuckled humorlessly. ââ¬Å"I believe itââ¬â¢s called an impasse.â⬠I sighed. ââ¬Å"Ouch,â⬠I muttered. ââ¬Å"How are you feeling?â⬠he asked, eyeing the button for the nurse. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m fine,â⬠I lied. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t believe you,â⬠he said gently. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not going back to sleep.â⬠ââ¬Å"You need rest. All this arguing isnââ¬â¢t good for you.â⬠ââ¬Å"So give in,â⬠I hinted. ââ¬Å"Nice try.â⬠He reached for the button. ââ¬Å"No!â⬠He ignored me. ââ¬Å"Yes?â⬠the speaker on the wall squawked. ââ¬Å"I think weââ¬â¢re ready for more pain medication,â⬠he said calmly, ignoring my furious expression. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll send in the nurse.â⬠The voice sounded very bored. ââ¬Å"I wonââ¬â¢t take it,â⬠I promised. He looked toward the sack of fluids hanging beside my bed. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t think theyââ¬â¢re going to ask you to swallow anything.â⬠My heart rate started to climb. He read the fear in my eyes, and sighed in frustration. ââ¬Å"Bella, youââ¬â¢re in pain. You need to relax so you can heal. Why are you being so difficult? Theyââ¬â¢re not going to put any more needles in you now.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not afraid of the needles,â⬠I mumbled. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m afraid to close my eyes.â⬠Then he smiled his crooked smile, and took my face between his hands. ââ¬Å"I told you Iââ¬â¢m not going anywhere. Donââ¬â¢t be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, Iââ¬â¢ll be here.â⬠I smiled back, ignoring the ache in my cheeks. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re talking about forever, you know.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh, youââ¬â¢ll get over it ââ¬â itââ¬â¢s just a crush.â⬠I shook my head in disbelief- it made me dizzy. ââ¬Å"I was shocked when Ren?à ¦e swallowed that one. I know you know better.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s the beautiful thing about being human,â⬠he told me. ââ¬Å"Things change.â⬠My eyes narrowed. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t hold your breath.â⬠He was laughing when the nurse came in, brandishing a syringe. ââ¬Å"Excuse me,â⬠she said brusquely to Edward. He got up and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the wall. He folded his arms and waited. I kept my eyes on him, still apprehensive. He met my gaze calmly. ââ¬Å"Here you go, honey.â⬠The nurse smiled as she injected the medicine into my tube. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢ll feel better now.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thanks,â⬠I mumbled, unenthusiastic. It didnââ¬â¢t take long. I could feel the drowsiness trickling through my bloodstream almost immediately. ââ¬Å"That ought to do it,â⬠she muttered as my eyelids drooped. She must have left the room, because something cold and smooth touched my face. ââ¬Å"Stay.â⬠The word was slurred. ââ¬Å"I will,â⬠he promised. His voice was beautiful, like a lullaby. ââ¬Å"Like I said, as long as it makes you happyâ⬠¦ as long as itââ¬â¢s whatââ¬â¢s best for you.â⬠I tried to shake my head, but it was too heavy. ââ¬Å"ââ¬ËS not the same thing,â⬠I mumbled. He laughed. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t worry about that now, Bella. You can argue with me when you wake up.â⬠I think I smiled. ââ¬Ëâ⬠Kay.â⬠I could feel his lips at my ear. ââ¬Å"I love you,â⬠he whispered. ââ¬Å"Me, too.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know,â⬠he laughed quietly. I turned my head slightlyâ⬠¦ searching. He knew what I was after. His lips touched mine gently. ââ¬Å"Thanks,â⬠I sighed. ââ¬Å"Anytime.â⬠I wasnââ¬â¢t really there at all anymore. But I fought against the stupor weakly. There was just one more thing I wanted to tell him. ââ¬Å"Edward?â⬠I struggled to pronounce his name clearly. ââ¬Å"Yes?â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m betting on Alice,â⬠I mumbled. And then the night closed over me. EPILOGUE:AN OCCASION Edward helped me into his car, being very careful of the wisps of silk and chiffon, the flowers heââ¬â¢d just pinned into my elaborately styled curls, and my bulky walking cast. He ignored the angry set of my mouth. When he had me settled, he got in the driverââ¬â¢s seat and headed back out the long, narrow drive. ââ¬Å"At what point exactly are you going to tell me whatââ¬â¢s going on?â⬠I asked grumpily. I really hated surprises. And he knew that. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m shocked that you havenââ¬â¢t figured it out yet.â⬠He threw a mocking smile in my direction, and my breath caught in my throat. Would I ever get used to his perfection? ââ¬Å"I did mention that you looked very nice, didnââ¬â¢t I?â⬠I verified. ââ¬Å"Yes.â⬠He grinned again. Iââ¬â¢d never seen him dress in black before, and, with the contrast against his pale skin, his beauty was absolutely surreal. That much I couldnââ¬â¢t deny, even if the fact that he was wearing a tuxedo made me very nervous. Not quite as nervous as the dress. Or the shoe. Only one shoe, as my other foot was still securely encased in plaster. But the stiletto heel, held on only by satin ribbons, certainly wasnââ¬â¢t going to help me as I tried to hobble around. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do,â⬠I griped. Iââ¬â¢d spent the better part of the day in Aliceââ¬â¢s staggeringly vast bathroom, a helpless victim as she played hairdresser and cosmetician. Whenever I fidgeted or complained, she reminded me that she didnââ¬â¢t have any memories of being human, and asked me not to ruin her vicarious fun. Then sheââ¬â¢d dressed me in the most ridiculous dress ââ¬â deep blue, frilly and off the shoulders, with French tags I couldnââ¬â¢t read ââ¬â a dress more suitable for a runway than Forks. Nothing good could come of our formal attire, of that I was sure. Unlessâ⬠¦ but I was afraid to put my suspicions into words, even in my own head. I was distracted then by the sound of a phone ringing. Edward pulled his cell phone from a pocket inside his jacket, looking briefly at the caller ID before answering. ââ¬Å"Hello, Charlie,â⬠he said warily. ââ¬Å"Charlie?â⬠I frowned. Charlie had beenâ⬠¦ difficult since my return to Forks. He had compartmentalized my bad experience into two defined reactions. Toward Carlisle he was almost worshipfully grateful. On the other hand, he was stubbornly convinced that Edward was at fault ââ¬â because, if not for him, I wouldnââ¬â¢t have left home in the first place. And Edward was far from disagreeing with him. These days I had rules that hadnââ¬â¢t existed before: curfewsâ⬠¦ visiting hours. Something Charlie was saying made Edwardââ¬â¢s eyes widen in disbelief, and then a grin spread across his face. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re kidding!â⬠He laughed. ââ¬Å"What is it?â⬠I demanded. He ignored me. ââ¬Å"Why donââ¬â¢t you let me talk to him?â⬠Edward suggested with evident pleasure. He waited for a few seconds. ââ¬Å"Hello, Tyler, this is Edward Cullen.â⬠His voice was very friendly, on the surface. I knew it well enough to catch the soft edge of menace. What was Tyler doing at my house? The awful truth began to dawn on me. I looked again at the inappropriate dress Alice had forced me into. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m sorry if thereââ¬â¢s been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight.â⬠Edwardââ¬â¢s tone changed, and the threat in his voice was suddenly much more evident as he continued. ââ¬Å"To be perfectly honest, sheââ¬â¢ll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And Iââ¬â¢m sorry about your evening.â⬠He didnââ¬â¢t sound sorry at all. And then he snapped the phone shut, a huge smirk on his face. My face and neck flushed crimson with anger. I could feel the rage-induced tears starting to fill my eyes. He looked at me in surprise. ââ¬Å"Was that last part a bit too much? I didnââ¬â¢t mean to offend you.â⬠I ignored that. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re taking me to the prom!â⬠I yelled. It was embarrassingly obvious now. If Iââ¬â¢d been paying any attention at all, Iââ¬â¢m sure I would have noticed the date on the posters that decorated the school buildings. But Iââ¬â¢d never dreamed he was thinking of subjecting me to this. Didnââ¬â¢t he know me at all? He wasnââ¬â¢t expecting the force of my reaction, that was clear. He pressed his lips together and his eyes narrowed. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t be difficult, Bella.â⬠My eyes flashed to the window; we were halfway to the school already. ââ¬Å"Why are you doing this to me?â⬠I demanded in horror. He gestured to his tuxedo. ââ¬Å"Honestly, Bella, what did you think we were doing?â⬠I was mortified. First, because Iââ¬â¢d missed the obvious. And also because the vague suspicions ââ¬â expectations, really ââ¬â that Iââ¬â¢d been forming all day, as Alice tried to transform me into a beauty queen, were so far wide of the mark. My half-fearful hopes seemed very silly now. Iââ¬â¢d guessed there was some kind of occasion brewing. But prom! That was the furthest thing from my mind. The angry tears rolled over my cheeks. I remembered with dismay that I was very uncharacteristically wearing mascara. I wiped quickly under my eyes to prevent any smudges. My hand was unblackened when I pulled it away; maybe Alice had known I would need waterproof makeup. ââ¬Å"This is completely ridiculous. Why are you crying?â⬠he demanded in frustration. ââ¬Å"Because Iââ¬â¢m mad!â⬠ââ¬Å"Bella.â⬠He turned the full force of his scorching golden eyes on me. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠I muttered, distracted. ââ¬Å"Humor me,â⬠he insisted. His eyes were melting all my fury. It was impossible to fight with him when he cheated like that. I gave in with poor grace. ââ¬Å"Fine,â⬠I pouted, unable to glare as effectively as I would have liked. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll go quietly. But youââ¬â¢ll see. Iââ¬â¢m way overdue for more bad luck. Iââ¬â¢ll probably break my other leg. Look at this shoe! Itââ¬â¢s a death trap!â⬠I held out my good leg as evidence. ââ¬Å"Hmmm.â⬠He stared at my leg longer than was necessary. ââ¬Å"Remind me to thank Alice for that tonight.â⬠ââ¬Å"Alice is going to be there?â⬠That comforted me slightly. ââ¬Å"With Jasper, and Emmettâ⬠¦ and Rosalie,â⬠he admitted. The feeling of comfort disappeared. There had been no progress with Rosalie, though I was on quite good terms with her sometimes-husband. Emmett enjoyed having me around ââ¬â he thought my bizarre human reactions were hilariousâ⬠¦ or maybe it was just the fact that I fell down a lot that he found so funny. Rosalie acted as if I didnââ¬â¢t exist. While I shook my head to dispel the direction my thoughts had taken, I thought of something else. ââ¬Å"Is Charlie in on this?â⬠I asked, suddenly suspicious. ââ¬Å"Of course.â⬠He grinned, and then chuckled. ââ¬Å"Apparently Tyler wasnââ¬â¢t, though.â⬠I gritted my teeth. How Tyler could be so delusional, I couldnââ¬â¢t imagine. At school, where Charlie couldnââ¬â¢t interfere, Edward and I were inseparable ââ¬â except for those rare sunny days. We were at the school now; Rosalieââ¬â¢s red convertible was conspicuous in the parking lot. The clouds were thin today, a few streaks of sunlight escaping through far away in the west. He got out and walked around the car to open my door. He held out his hand. I sat stubbornly in my seat, arms folded, feeling a secret twinge of smugness. The lot was crowded with people in formal dress: witnesses. He couldnââ¬â¢t remove me forcibly from the car as he might have if weââ¬â¢d been alone. He sighed. ââ¬Å"When someone wants to kill you, youââ¬â¢re brave as a lion ââ¬â and then when someone mentions dancingâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ He shook his head. I gulped. Dancing. ââ¬Å"Bella, I wonââ¬â¢t let anything hurt you ââ¬â not even yourself. I wonââ¬â¢t let go of you once, I promise.â⬠I thought about that and suddenly felt much better. He could see that in my face. ââ¬Å"There, now,â⬠he said gently, ââ¬Å"it wonââ¬â¢t be so bad.â⬠He leaned down and wrapped one arm around my waist. I took his other hand and let him lift me from the car. He kept his arm tightly around me, supporting me as I limped toward the school. In Phoenix, they held proms in hotel ballrooms. This dance was in the gym, of course. It was probably the only room in town big enough for a dance. When we got inside, I giggled. There were actual balloon arches and twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper festooning the walls. ââ¬Å"This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen,â⬠I snickered. ââ¬Å"Well,â⬠he muttered as we slowly approached the ticket table ââ¬â he was carrying most of my weight, but I still had to shuffle and wobble my feet forward ââ¬â ââ¬Å"there are more than enough vampires present.â⬠I looked at the dance floor; a wide gap had formed in the center of the floor, where two couples whirled gracefully. The other dancers pressed to the sides of the room to give them space ââ¬â no one wanted to stand in contrast with such radiance. Emmett and Jasper were intimidating and flawless in classic tuxedos. Alice was striking in a black satin dress with geometric cutouts that bared large triangles of her snowy white skin. And Rosalie wasâ⬠¦ well, Rosalie. She was beyond belief. Her vivid scarlet dress was backless, tight to her calves where it flared into a wide ruffled train, with a neckline that plunged to her waist. I pitied every girl in the room, myself included. ââ¬Å"Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?â⬠I whispered conspiratorially. ââ¬Å"And where do you fit into that scheme?â⬠He glared. ââ¬Å"Oh, Iââ¬â¢m with the vampires, of course.â⬠He smiled reluctantly. ââ¬Å"Anything to get out of dancing.â⬠ââ¬Å"Anything.â⬠He bought our tickets, then turned me toward the dance floor. I cringed against his arm and dragged my feet. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ve got all night,â⬠he warned. Eventually he towed me out to where his family was twirling elegantly ââ¬â if in a style totally unsuitable to the present time and music. I watched in horror. ââ¬Å"Edward.â⬠My throat was so dry I could only manage a whisper. ââ¬Å"I honestly canââ¬â¢t dance!â⬠I could feel the panic bubbling up inside my chest. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t worry, silly,â⬠he whispered back. ââ¬Å"I can.â⬠He put my arms around his neck and lifted me to slide his feet under mine. And then we were whirling, too. ââ¬Å"I feel like Iââ¬â¢m five years old,â⬠I laughed after a few minutes of effortless waltzing. ââ¬Å"You donââ¬â¢t look five,â⬠he murmured, pulling me closer for a second, so that my feet were briefly a foot from the ground. Alice caught my eye on a turn and smiled in encouragement ââ¬â I smiled back. I was surprised to realize that I was actually enjoying myselfâ⬠¦ a little. ââ¬Å"Okay, this isnââ¬â¢t half bad,â⬠I admitted. But Edward was staring toward the doors, and his face was angry. ââ¬Å"What is it?â⬠I wondered aloud. I followed his gaze, disoriented by the spinning, but finally I could see what was bothering him. Jacob Black, not in a tux, but in a long-sleeved white shirt and tie, his hair smoothed back into his usual ponytail, was crossing the floor toward us. After the first shock of recognition, I couldnââ¬â¢t help but feel bad for Jacob. He was clearly uncomfortable ââ¬â excruciatingly so. His face was apologetic as his eyes met mine. Edward snarled very quietly. ââ¬Å"Behave!â⬠I hissed. Edwardââ¬â¢s voice was scathing. ââ¬Å"He wants to chat with you.â⬠Jacob reached us then, the embarrassment and apology even more evident on his face. ââ¬Å"Hey, Bella, I was hoping you would be here.â⬠Jacob sounded like heââ¬â¢d been hoping the exact opposite. But his smile was just as warm as ever. ââ¬Å"Hi, Jacob.â⬠I smiled back. ââ¬Å"Whatââ¬â¢s up?â⬠ââ¬Å"Can I cut in?â⬠he asked tentatively, glancing at Edward for the first time. I was shocked to notice that Jacob didnââ¬â¢t have to look up. He must have grown half a foot since the first time Iââ¬â¢d seen him. Edwardââ¬â¢s face was composed, his expression blank. His only answer was to set me carefully on my feet, and take a step back. ââ¬Å"Thanks,â⬠Jacob said amiably. Edward just nodded, looking at me intently before he turned to walk away. Jacob put his hands on my waist, and I reached up to put my hands on his shoulders. ââ¬Å"Wow, Jake, how tall are you now?â⬠He was smug. ââ¬Å"Six-two.â⬠We werenââ¬â¢t really dancing ââ¬â my leg made that impossible. Instead we swayed awkwardly from side to side without moving our feet. It was just as well; the recent growth spurt had left him looking gangly and uncoordinated, he was probably no better a dancer than I was. ââ¬Å"So, how did you end up here tonight?â⬠I asked without true curiosity. Considering Edwardââ¬â¢s reaction, I could guess. ââ¬Å"Can you believe my dad paid me twenty bucks to come to your prom?â⬠he admitted, slightly ashamed. ââ¬Å"Yes, I can,â⬠I muttered. ââ¬Å"Well, I hope youââ¬â¢re enjoying yourself, at least. Seen anything you like?â⬠I teased, nodding toward a group of girls lined up against the wall like pastel confections. ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠he sighed. ââ¬Å"But sheââ¬â¢s taken.â⬠He glanced down to meet my curious gaze for just a second ââ¬â then we both looked away, embarrassed. ââ¬Å"You look really pretty, by the way,â⬠he added shyly. ââ¬Å"Um, thanks. So why did Billy pay you to come here?â⬠I asked quickly, though I knew the answer. Jacob didnââ¬â¢t seem grateful for the subject change; he looked away, uncomfortable again. ââ¬Å"He said it was a ââ¬Ësafeââ¬â¢ place to talk to you. I swear the old man is losing his mind.â⬠I joined in his laughter weakly. ââ¬Å"Anyway, he said that if I told you something, he would get me that master cylinder I need,â⬠he confessed with a sheepish grin. ââ¬Å"Tell me, then. I want you to get your car finished.â⬠I grinned back. At least Jacob didnââ¬â¢t believe any of this. It made the situation a bit easier. Against the wall, Edward was watching my face, his own face expressionless. I saw a sophomore in a pink dress eyeing him with timid speculation, but he didnââ¬â¢t seem to be aware of her. Jacob looked away again, ashamed. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t get mad, okay?â⬠ââ¬Å"Thereââ¬â¢s no way Iââ¬â¢ll be mad at you, Jacob,â⬠I assured him. ââ¬Å"I wonââ¬â¢t even be mad at Billy. Just say what you have to.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well ââ¬â this is so stupid, Iââ¬â¢m sorry, Bella ââ¬â he wants you to break up with your boyfriend. He asked me to tell you ââ¬Ëplease.'â⬠He shook his head in disgust. ââ¬Å"Heââ¬â¢s still superstitious, eh?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah. He wasâ⬠¦ kind of over the top when you got hurt down in Phoenix. He didnââ¬â¢t believeâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ Jacob trailed off self-consciously. My eyes narrowed. ââ¬Å"I fell.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know that,â⬠Jacob said quickly. ââ¬Å"He thinks Edward had something to do with me getting hurt.â⬠It wasnââ¬â¢t a question, and despite my promise, I was angry. Jacob wouldnââ¬â¢t meet my eyes. We werenââ¬â¢t even bothering to sway to the music, though his hands were still on my waist, and mine around his neck. ââ¬Å"Look, Jacob, I know Billy probably wonââ¬â¢t believe this, but just so you knowâ⬠ââ¬â he looked at me now, responding to the new earnestness in my voice ââ¬â ââ¬Å"Edward really did save my life. If it werenââ¬â¢t for Edward and his father, Iââ¬â¢d be dead.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know,â⬠he claimed, but he sounded like my sincere words had affected him some. Maybe heââ¬â¢d be able to convince Billy of this much, at least. ââ¬Å"Hey, Iââ¬â¢m sorry you had to come do this, Jacob,â⬠I apologized. ââ¬Å"At any rate, you get your parts, right?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠he muttered. He was still looking awkwardâ⬠¦ upset. ââ¬Å"Thereââ¬â¢s more?â⬠I asked in disbelief. ââ¬Å"Forget it,â⬠he mumbled, ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll get a job and save the money myself.â⬠I glared at him until he met my gaze. ââ¬Å"Just spit it out, Jacob.â⬠ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s so bad.â⬠ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t care. Tell me,â⬠I insisted. ââ¬Å"Okayâ⬠¦ but, geez, this sounds bad.â⬠He shook his head. ââ¬Å"He said to tell you, no, to warn you, that ââ¬â and this is his plural, not mineâ⬠ââ¬â he lifted one hand from my waist and made little quotations marks in the air ââ¬â ââ¬Ëâ⬠Weââ¬â¢ll be watching.'â⬠He watched warily for my reaction. It sounded like something from a mafia movie. I laughed out loud. ââ¬Å"Sorry you had to do this, Jake,â⬠I snickered. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t mind that much.â⬠He grinned in relief. His eyes were appraising as they raked quickly over my dress. ââ¬Å"So, should I tell him you said to butt the hell out?â⬠he asked hopefully. ââ¬Å"No,â⬠I sighed. ââ¬Å"Tell him I said thanks. I know he means well.â⬠The song ended, and I dropped my arms. His hands hesitated at my waist, and he glanced at my bum leg. ââ¬Å"Do you want to dance again? Or can I help you get somewhere?â⬠Edward answered for me. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s all right, Jacob. Iââ¬â¢ll take it from here.â⬠Jacob flinched, and stared wide-eyed at Edward, who stood just beside us. ââ¬Å"Hey, I didnââ¬â¢t see you there,â⬠he mumbled. ââ¬Å"I guess Iââ¬â¢ll see you around, Bella.â⬠He stepped back, waving halfheartedly. I smiled. ââ¬Å"Yeah, Iââ¬â¢ll see you later.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sorry,â⬠he said again before he turned for the door. Edwardââ¬â¢s arms wound around me as the next song started. It was a little up-tempo for slow dancing, but that didnââ¬â¢t seem to concern him. I leaned my head against his chest, content. ââ¬Å"Feeling better?â⬠I teased. ââ¬Å"Not really,â⬠he said tersely. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t be mad at Billy,â⬠I sighed. ââ¬Å"He just worries about me for Charlieââ¬â¢s sake. Itââ¬â¢s nothing personal.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not mad at Billy,â⬠he corrected in a clipped voice. ââ¬Å"But his son is irritating me.â⬠I pulled back to look at him. His face was very serious. ââ¬Å"Why?â⬠ââ¬Å"First of all, he made me break my promise.â⬠I stared at him in confusion. He half-smiled. ââ¬Å"I promised I wouldnââ¬â¢t let go of you tonight,â⬠he explained. ââ¬Å"Oh. Well, I forgive you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thanks. But thereââ¬â¢s something else.â⬠Edward frowned. I waited patiently. ââ¬Å"He called you pretty,â⬠he finally continued, his frown deepening. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s practically an insult, the way you look right now. Youââ¬â¢re much more than beautiful.â⬠I laughed. ââ¬Å"You might be a little biased.â⬠ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t think thatââ¬â¢s it. Besides, I have excellent eyesight.â⬠We were twirling again, my feet on his as he held me close. ââ¬Å"So are you going to explain the reason for all of this?â⬠I wondered. He looked down at me, confused, and I glared meaningfully at the crepe paper. He considered for a moment, and then changed direction, spinning me through the crowd to the back door of the gym. I caught a glimpse of Jessica and Mike dancing, staring at me curiously. Jessica waved, and I smiled back quickly. Angela was there, too, looking blissfully happy in the arms of little Ben Cheney; she didnââ¬â¢t look up from his eyes, a head lower than hers. Lee and Samantha, Lauren, glaring toward us, with Conner; I could name every face that spiraled past me. And then we were outdoors, in the cool, dim light of a fading sunset. As soon as we were alone, he swung me up into his arms, and carried me across the dark grounds till he reached the bench beneath the shadow of the madrone trees. He sat there, keeping me cradled against his chest. The moon was already up, visible through the gauzy clouds, and his face glowed pale in the white light. His mouth was hard, his eyes troubled. ââ¬Å"The point?â⬠I prompted softly. He ignored me, staring up at the moon. ââ¬Å"Twilight, again,â⬠he murmured. ââ¬Å"Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end.â⬠ââ¬Å"Some things donââ¬â¢t have to end,â⬠I muttered through my teeth, instantly tense. He sighed. ââ¬Å"I brought you to the prom,â⬠he said slowly, finally answering my question, ââ¬Å"because I donââ¬â¢t want you to miss anything. I donââ¬â¢t want my presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it. I want you to be human. I want your life to continue as it would have if Iââ¬â¢d died in nineteen-eighteen like I should have.â⬠I shuddered at his words, and then shook my head angrily. ââ¬Å"In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will? If you werenââ¬â¢t a thousand times stronger than me, I would never have let you get away with this.â⬠He smiled briefly, but it didnââ¬â¢t touch his eyes. ââ¬Å"It wasnââ¬â¢t so bad, you said so yourself.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s because I was with you.â⬠We were quiet for a minute; he stared at the moon and I stared at him. I wished there was some way to explain how very uninterested I was in a normal human life. ââ¬Å"Will you tell me something?â⬠he asked, glancing down at me with a slight smile. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t I always?â⬠ââ¬Å"Just promise youââ¬â¢ll tell me,â⬠he insisted, grinning. I knew I was going to regret this almost instantly. ââ¬Å"Fine.â⬠ââ¬Å"You seemed honestly surprised when you figured out that I was taking you here,â⬠he began. ââ¬Å"I was,â⬠I interjected. ââ¬Å"Exactly,â⬠he agreed. ââ¬Å"But you must have had some other theoryâ⬠¦ Iââ¬â¢m curious ââ¬â what did you think I was dressing you up for?â⬠Yes, instant regret. I pursed my lips, hesitating. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t want to tell you.â⬠ââ¬Å"You promised,â⬠he objected. ââ¬Å"I know.â⬠ââ¬Å"Whatââ¬â¢s the problem?â⬠I knew he thought it was mere embarrassment holding me back. ââ¬Å"I think it will make you mad ââ¬â or sad.â⬠His brows pulled together over his eyes as he thought that through. ââ¬Å"I still want to know. Please?â⬠I sighed. He waited. ââ¬Å"Wellâ⬠¦ I assumed it was some kind ofâ⬠¦ occasion. But I didnââ¬â¢t think it would be some trite human thingâ⬠¦ prom!â⬠I scoffed. ââ¬Å"Human?â⬠he asked flatly. Heââ¬â¢d picked up on the key word. I looked down at my dress, fidgeting with a stray piece of chiffon. He waited in silence. ââ¬Å"Okay,â⬠I confessed in a rush. ââ¬Å"So I was hoping that you might have changed your mindâ⬠¦ that you were going to change me, after all.â⬠A dozen emotions played across his face. Some I recognized: angerâ⬠¦ painâ⬠¦ and then he seemed to collect himself and his expression became amused. ââ¬Å"You thought that would be a black tie occasion, did you?â⬠he teased, touching the lapel of his tuxedo jacket. I scowled to hide my embarrassment. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t know how these things work. To me, at least, it seems more rational than prom does.â⬠He was still grinning. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s not funny,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"No, youââ¬â¢re right, itââ¬â¢s not,â⬠he agreed, his smile fading. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢d rather treat it like a joke, though, than believe youââ¬â¢re serious.â⬠ââ¬Å"But I am serious.â⬠He sighed deeply. ââ¬Å"I know. And youââ¬â¢re really that willing?â⬠The pain was back in his eyes. I bit my lip and nodded. ââ¬Å"So ready for this to be the end,â⬠he murmured, almost to himself, ââ¬Å"for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. Youââ¬â¢re ready to give up everything.â⬠ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s not the end, itââ¬â¢s the beginning,â⬠I disagreed under my breath. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not worth it,â⬠he said sadly. ââ¬Å"Do you remember when you told me that I didnââ¬â¢t see myself very clearly?â⬠I asked, raising my eyebrows. ââ¬Å"You obviously have the same blindness.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know what I am.â⬠I sighed. But his mercurial mood shifted on me. He pursed his lips, and his eyes were probing. He examined my face for a long moment. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re ready now, then?â⬠he asked. ââ¬Å"Um.â⬠I gulped. ââ¬Å"Yes?â⬠He smiled, and inclined his head slowly until his cold lips brushed against the skin just under the corner of my jaw. ââ¬Å"Right now?â⬠he whispered, his breath blowing cool on my neck. I shivered involuntarily. ââ¬Å"Yes,â⬠I whispered, so my voice wouldnââ¬â¢t have a chance to break. If he thought I was bluffing, he was going to be disappointed. Iââ¬â¢d already made this decision, and I was sure. It didnââ¬â¢t matter that my body was rigid as a plank, my hands balled into fists, my breathing erraticâ⬠¦ He chuckled darkly, and leaned away. His face did look disappointed. ââ¬Å"You canââ¬â¢t really believe that I would give in so easily,â⬠he said with a sour edge to his mocking tone. ââ¬Å"A girl can dream.â⬠His eyebrows rose. ââ¬Å"Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?â⬠ââ¬Å"Not exactly,â⬠I said, frowning at his word choice. Monster, indeed. ââ¬Å"Mostly I dream about being with you forever.â⬠His expression changed, softened and saddened by the subtle ache in my voice. ââ¬Å"Bella.â⬠His fingers lightly traced the shape of my lips. ââ¬Å"I will stay with you ââ¬â isnââ¬â¢t that enough?â⬠I smiled under his fingertips. ââ¬Å"Enough for now.â⬠He frowned at my tenacity. No one was going to surrender tonight. He exhaled, and the sound was practically a growl. I touched his face. ââ¬Å"Look,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I love you more than everything else in the world combined. Isnââ¬â¢t that enough?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes, it is enough,â⬠he answered, smiling. ââ¬Å"Enough for forever.â⬠And he leaned down to press his cold lips once more to my throat. How to cite Twilight 24. AN IMPASSE, Essay examples
Monday, April 27, 2020
Is Iago the real hero in Shakespeares Othello Essay Example
Is Iago the real hero in Shakespeares Othello Paper Contrary to the mainstream belief of Othello being the tragic hero, I think Iago is the real hero in Shakespeares Othello the moor of Venice. A traditional hero defined as a a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities. This definition however does not apply to Iago, who is a far more complex hero. He is more similar to the Byronic hero which is a sub type of anti hero. A Byronic hero is: A character of larger-than-life flaws, he generally has very few (if any) redeeming qualities beyond panache and seldom performs any of the heroic actions that are usually required of an Anti Hero. In some cases, the hero part of the name seems to be there only because he tends to be a primary protagonist and thus is a Designated Hero. 1 The word panache used here means a dashing manner; style; swagger . This certainly applies to Iago whose attitude and charisma is a big part of his character. Iago is not the type of hero described in the ancient philosopher Aristotle works. He is more like a hero the audience can relate to, and the focus of the story. After all Iago has 1097 lines whereas Othello only has 274. A lack of lines and a focus as a main character is not the only thing that Othello lacks. We will write a custom essay sample on Is Iago the real hero in Shakespeares Othello specifically for you for only $16.38 $13.9/page Order now We will write a custom essay sample on Is Iago the real hero in Shakespeares Othello specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer We will write a custom essay sample on Is Iago the real hero in Shakespeares Othello specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer In a historical context, an Elizabethan era audience would be more sympathetic and supportive of Iago than Othello. This doesnt mean that the audience was racist. It is simply the fact that Iago is a character the audience could relate to whereas Othello represents the unknown. The combination of his race and his high rank alienates the audience and they would be more likely to support Iagos efforts. Othello therefore would be unable to achieve one of the main goals of a tragedy: invokingfear, pity, sympathy and empathy2 if the audience where with Iago. Another criterion of being a tragic hero is high birth or high status. Othello may hold a high rank in the army, but whether this high status carries any weight in Venetian society is another matter. It could be argued that Othello is merely a military asset of the Venetian government. He is competent at being a soldier but his race is what sets him apart from other generals and noblemen. No matter how civilized and well spoken he is he is still seen as a barbarian. This is demonstrated in the opening scene where we only hear of Othello in negative and derogatory terms before his first appearance and before his name is even mentioned As I mentioned earlier the whole purpose of a tragedy, according to Aristotle, is to provoke great empathy and sympathy from the viewer and give a sense of loss and gain in self-worth, analysis and being. 2 This is mainly shown through the downfall of the main character from a high position leading to the eventual death. But if you take away the audiences support (feelings of sympathy and empathy etc) and the downfall from a high position in society, then Othello will just be a barely civilized barbarian, who murders his wife in a savage bout jealousy at the slightest rumours. And it would match the stereotypes about black people being hot-headed and rash. Another thing that sets Iago apart fro Othello is his use of language. Although Othello is very eloquent and poetic in his use of language at the start of the play, it shows a pattern of steady deterioration. Othellos language becomes more barbaric. O, blood, blood, blood! (III. iii. 452) In contrast, Iagos use of language is his main tool of manipulation. In Act I scene I he uses vulgar bestial imagery to provoke a reaction from Brabantio: Even now, now, very now, an old black ram / Is tupping your white ewe (I. i. 8-89) Moments later, he yells to Brabantio: youll have your daughter covered with a Barbary horse; youll have your nephews neigh to you; youll have coursers for cousins and gennets for germans (I. i. 111-114) Basically he says if Brabantio doesn do something, his whole family will be nothing but horses. This animal imagery that Iago uses is one of the major devices he uses to control his victims, as it helps him call out their rasher, more impulsive and more violent sides. The example above was meant to rush Brabantio into action, to create a sense of urgency, as he uses a repetition of the word now When Othello demands some proof of Desdemonas adultery, Iago tells him that he will never be able to catch Desdemona and Cassio in bed together, while at the same time describing their coupling It is impossible you should see this, / Were they as prime as goats, as hot as monkeys, / As salt as wolves in pride], and fools as gross / As ignorance made drunk (III. iii. 402-405) In act 4 scene 1,Iago works Othello into such a state of jealousy that Othello falls into an epileptic fit. When he wakes up, Iago asks, How is it, general? Have you not hurt your head? (IV. i. 59). Othello answers, Dost thou mock me? (IV. i. 60), because he thinks that Iago might mean that cuckolds horns have hurt his head. A cuckold was a man whose wife was having a sexual affair with another man; folklore said that cuckolds grew horns on their heads. This silly myth portrays such men as dumb animals deserving of scornful laughter. Iago denies that he was mocking Othello, and urges him to bear your fortune like a man! (IV. i. 61). Iagos point is that Desdemonas unfaithfulness is just a matter of fortune, bad luck, and that its nothing to swoon over. Othello replies that A horned mans a monster and a beast (IV. i. 2), which probably describes how he is feelingstrange, non-human. Iago replies that Othello has plenty of company because every city is full of cuckolds. Othello then asks if Iago has heard Cassio confess that he had sex with Desdemona. Rather than give a direct answer to Othellos question, Iago keeps talking about the difference between a beast and a man. He says, Good sir, be a man; / Think every bearded fellow thats but yoked / May draw with you (IV. i. 65-67). Think, like be, is a command; Iago is again telling Othello that there are many other men who are cuckolds, and that he should take it like a man. At the same time, his metaphor suggests that Othello is a beast after all. Oxen are yoked so that they can pull (draw) a plow, and Iago uses the oxens yoke as a metaphor for marriage. In short, any married is likely to be a beastly cuckold. At the end of the same scene, after Othello thinks he has overheard Desdemona confess her love for Cassio, Othello exits with the exclamation, Goats and monkeys! (IV. i. 263), which is an echo of Iagos earlier statement to Othello . Thus we see how Iagos beastly imagery has taken root in Othellos mind.
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